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For all aop1980 fans who are planning to move to another country, here are some helpful tips for those unwary newbies…

1.?BRING A CARTON OR TWO OF CIGARETTES - That is, if you smoke.? In London a?full pack of cigs costs 4-5 pounds, roughly?$8-9.? If you buy them in a bar or somewhere in Central London, they will cost even more.? Im sure it is the same in other big cities i.e. Turino (but probably not as bad).

2. BRING NAVIGATION TOOLS - Maps are so incredibly useful when you are in a new place.? They’re not that important if you’re just la la la sightseeing, but they come in quite handy other times?especially if you are running around a city trying to get to a job interview, apartment shopping, or if you get lost.? Also,?I have recently come to appreciate the utility of a compass.? Combined with a map, they are the nuts of Christ.? Sure, you can look at the sun and see what direction your shadow is pointing, but that is so 3000 BC.

3. BRING WHATEVER ID’s AND PERSONAL DOCUMENTS YOU HAVE - Applying for a bank account, credit card, etc.,?is not as simple as in the States, where any?Mexican?can fill out a credit card application?for?the free?beer holder.? Often times institutions will ask you for personal documents such as utility bills, bank statements, job acceptance letters, etc.? For students, your school documentation is usually sufficient to open a checking account.? For non-students, the easiest thing to do is to go to an HSBC and apply for a Passport Account for a very small fee.? In order to open a Passport Account, you will need a bank statement from your bank in the States, a proof of residence in the States (a valid driver’s license will do), and of course, duh, your passport.

4.?BE HAPPY WAITING TABLES OR WORKING AT A BAR - Getting a job at?a bar or restaurant is fairly easy (we have the Polish to thank for that), and they don’t require you to have a social security number, national insurance number, or whatever crazy number they use in that country, and you usually don’t need a bank account.? Getting an office job is far more complicated, and time consuming.? If you are looking for an office job, DON’T rely on your savings to hold you over until you find a good job!? Work in a bar to neutralize expenses until you find the job you want.? Make this your FIRST priority, before going around partying and sleeping with hookers.

5. BE CAREFUL WHAT DRUGS YOU TAKE - in Europe drugs seem to be more potent than in the US, with a lot of designer drugs floating around that are much more accessible than in the States.? I remember in Italy the Armenians would sell you hash mixed with bleach.? I didn’t bump into any crazy drugs in the Philippines, but I’m sure they are there.? Be wary of what you take… they may be named after Saturday morning cartoon characters, but they will FUCK YOU UP!!!? It is recommended to have at least one responsible friend around to take care of you, and if he/she majored in chemistry, even better.

6. KEEP ADDRESSES AND PHONE NUMBERS ON YOU - You will never know when you will get lost and stranded somewhere (i.e. getting on the wrong bus, waking up?in a crackhouse with your Doc Martens?missing, etc.).? It’s good to have a contact person, or know an address to tell a cab.? Also, once you get to your new destination, make sure you find out and record all emergency numbers (i.e. police, ambulance, fire, etc.), cause dialing 911 will get you nowhere.? Make sure you know your embassy’s number.? It’s also probably a good idea to let your embassy know you are in the country, so that if anyone reports you missing, Interpol will have your information readily at hand.?

7. KEEP YOUR EYE OUT FOR FREE MONEY AND TAX BREAKS - Some governments will give a stipend to people who are unemployed, sometimes to foreigners, and if you’re in Europe, most often to any EU citizen.? Look out for tax breaks if you’re working part-time.? In the UK, if you are working two part-time jobs, you will still get the tax breaks (a clever little loop hole?you can use to?stick it back to the Queen!).? A lot of bar/restaurant/hotel jobs also offer free accomodation and free/subsidized meals.? Great way to save a few bucks.

8. MAKE A JOURNAL OF ALL YOUR EXPENSES - Money has a funny way of jumping out of your wallet without you noticing it… they are sneaky lil’ fuckers.? ?Keeping your books in your head DOES NOT WORK!!!? Write down all expenditures and keep all receipts.? From this, you can calculate your average weekly expenses, and know exactly where the money is going.? This way, you can kick yourself in the ass TWICE for buying that pair of shoes you knew you didn’t need.

9. BE PREPARED FOR MAJOR LIFESTYLE CHANGES - Living conditions are a little more archaic in Europe and other countries, so be prepared to live with dinky refridgerators, no dryers, no dishwashers,?no outlets in the bathrooms, toilets that don’t work, no air-conditioners, no?free nights and weekends?on your phone plan, no 24-hour supermarkets, and no free refills at McDonald’s.?

10. BRING?A BIG PADLOCK OR GET A SAFETY DEPOSIT BOX - You will want to store your valuables (i.e. passport, money, documents, laptop, etc.) in a safe place.? If you live in an apartment building that offers a safety deposit box, use it.? Else, get your own, or use a padlock on your closet.? Don’t worry about looking like a paraniod freak to your roomies… better to be a freak than a chump.

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